Happy Thanksgiving

As I prepare the traditional fare and my home for our guests on this Thanksgiving, I am caught up in thoughts about how lucky I am and Thankful to be expecting our twin boys in May. How extremely blessed we are to have each other and to have our health. I can’t help but think of how lucky we are to have our home. No matter how tight it may get with the twins and Nicholas…it is my favorite place to be and I wouldn’t change a thing. I am also so thankful for Jennifer and her family…without Jen and the full support of her family it would not be possible for us to be a family of 5 someday. Tonight I will cook and bake and clean….set my table and drink a glass of wine and be thankful for all that I have and all that I will have. I hope all of you enjoy a wonderful day spending time with the people who are most important to you. Here’s to a moist turkey to boot!

Baby B

Second Trimester Here we come!

We made it to the second trimester! Tomorrow is our first trimester screening ultrasound! Miguel and I are headed out to Connecticut to see the babies! I cannot wait to see those baby boys swimming around in there! Jen has been an absolute trooper in these early months of pregnancy. She has endured morning sickness, Fatigue, and all the other first trimester symptoms I wont mention! I can’t imagine how she has managed while taking care of her little ones at home and working and going to school! I am hoping that as we approach our 13^th week she will begin to get her energy back and the food aversions will turn into the heightened taste buds that will allow her to taste foods and enjoy them so much more than the non pregnant.

I am so grateful to be in this situation! I am scared to death at the same time…but grateful beyond words. I have been doing my research on baby gear for twins…and figuring out our sleeping arrangements for the first 6 months. I have been reading up on feeding schedules for twins and sleep training…We all know that none of this information will really prepare us for what is really coming! Sleepless nights and major paranoia! But with that comes long loving gazes at our two newest additions to the family, and a heavenly place on earth, which will become our house when the babies get to come home.

Well tomorrow I will go to my appointment with Jen, equipped to the hilt with recording devises…I hope to have video and still photographs to post soon.

One other milestone we have achieved this week is the public announcement of my pregnancy, that was made to the 50 plus colleagues by my high school principal. This was kind of anti climatic and funny…because my principal said…and I quote…” and we have another baby on the way(gesturing to me in the second row of the stadium seating lecture hall) Mrs. Miranda is expecting….(awkward pause)…SURROGATLY (if that’s a word) Major pause….(while the faculty was trying to figure out what that meant….then someone in the faculty audience yells out) “twins” then there was a light applause and the spotlight went to other news….(While the faculty was still trying to figure out what had just happened….) I am just happy that everyone knows…But I still have not told my students, grade 9-12….I might just spring it on them spontaneously any day now, that is if it doesn’t leak!

Can you believe we’re here? Starting our second trimester?!?!?!?! Reality is finally sinking in! Oh yeah! We are looking at minivans! But I think we like the Chevy Traverse…which is considered a crossover….In my definition, a crossover is a masculine minivan!

A year and a half ago I met Jen. Jen is a gestational carrier aka surrogate mother. We met on a website specifically for social networking between surrogates and Intended parents. Miguel and I are intended parents.

Now a year and a half later, through countless emails, texts, message board entries, phone calls and social meetings we are here……After psychological evaluations, physical exams, infectious disease screening, home studies and criminal background checks ….here we are! Through IVF cycling, genetic testing and embryo transfers…Here we are!

We are finally pregnant! Jen is Pregnant! We are having a baby!

No Wait! This gets better……

We are not just having one baby!

WE ARE HAVING TWO BABIES!

IT’S TWINS!

WE COULDN'T BE HAPPIER! WE COULDN’T BE MORE TERRIFIED!

BUT MOST OF ALL… WE THANK GOD FOR GETTING US HERE!

Last Friday We got to see two heartbeats and two babies….. We are speechless!

We can’t thank Jen enough for this unbelievable selfless act.

Did I mention they are both Boys! We are having twin boys!

Our Faint Positive

Here is Jenns test from this morning, 6 days past the embryo transfer!
I know it's faint but it's there! Here's to darker tests in the coming days...

Could it really Be?

I should really wait before putting this out there! I know most people wait till they are "in the clear"....at like three or four months... but Jenn and I had our frozen embryo transfer on Friday September 10th at 2:15 in the afternoon. Jenn got two "day 6 hatching blastocycsts" put in the uterus and now 5 days later we have a positive pregnancy test! It's faint, but it's positive! Now we wait to see what the blood test says on the 20th! I am just praying for one little healthy bean! If there are two, I'll be even more happy! Keep us in your prayers! We want this in the worst way and it's soooooo early!
Miguel and I are over the moon with joy!
Keep this to yourself! It's so early, I just wanted to share with you guys following my blog!
Check back for an update, Beta test is on Monday the 20th..

Today I am married 7 years. Today is August first 2010. I can honestly say that I am still happily married. But my thoughts are diverted once again to the idea of making babies…and as I am now 40 years and 3 months old it is more urgent than in the past. But I have found some peace in knowing that as the clock ticks we will reach an end of the road….as we all know this road has been way too long and has spanned my entire marriage. My husband and I were married 7 years ago and although we wanted to have a baby right away, we waited a year to go by before trying to conceive….But even though we waited…our minds were still on the idea of baby. We were waiting for my TENURE at the new high school I had recently switched to. Well…you know the rest…or at least you could look it up in this blog…lol

We are ready to do another transfer! And I know I have not been a good blogger….because when things are not going my way or when new exciting stuff is not on the horizon, let’s just say I am a little less than motivated to write about it.

So back to my latest news…..

Jennifer, the amazing women who will hopefully become pregnant with our baby/babies is gearing up for a new transfer. As many of you remember the transfer of two embryos in January did not work and she did not become pregnant.

Well since then I went through what is called an IVF cycle to make more embryos….and We also went through a process to check 24 chromosomes on each embryo due to my radiation history etc… and we have three frozen healthy totcicles ready for transfer.

We are looking at the last week of August for Jenn to have two of the embryos put back in her uterus.

What makes this even more excited is the fact that we know the sex of all three embryos…and they are all the same sex!

But I am not ready to share that information yet.

Please pray for us and wish us luck….it’s almost the end of the road for this chapter.

Love Jess

xoxo

The Bad News

My dream of Sharks


Last night I dreamt I was in a house sitting in the middle of the ocean with an opening in the middle of the floor. The floor boards were wooden and rustic. The cold ocean water rushing by the large open rectangle near my feet and sharks were bumping up into the room every so often.

I looked up a dream analyzer and found that…..
“ Sharks can often symbolize resentments and bad feelings which are building up in our minds. They refer to bad moods and a sense that trouble is about to happen. They can also link to risk in general and emotional doubts and worries.”

This makes sense because yesterday after a long and grueling two week wait we found out our Frozen Embryo Transfer did not work and the cycle failed. Jennifer is not pregnant with our next child/children. We have an appointment with our fertility clinic to find out what went wrong and to make a new plan.

We are surprisingly ok…. All of us are in well enough spirits and we are looking forward to trying again in a couple months.

Surviving the Big Chill

Well we did our transfer on Tuesday January 26th at 2:15 pm. As Jenn and I waited in the Pre Op room Dr. Garrisi came to tell us the embryo report. she said...."We thawed the first two and one did not make it, then we thawed the third and final and we are now left with two good looking embryos" Jenn followed Dr. Garrisi into the OR and I went to the waiting room. Miguel had a coffee waiting for me and Nicholas was running around the room like a little monkey.... 10 minutes later they called me to the recovery area where Jenn was resting. We had to rest for 20 minutes and then we could get Jenn to her hotel room for her 24 "bed rest". I cannot describe my overwhelming excitement and hope. Jenn swears she will start to POAS on Friday! I think if she is going to see a positive line on an HPT it will be on Sunday or Monday....I hope I am wrong and it's earlier. Well heres to a long Two week wait! Oh I hope they stick around and grow and develop!

We thaw the embryos this week!

I just got the call this afternoon and found out that Tuesday.....THIS TUESDAY at 2:00 pm we will be doing the embryo thaw and transfer. What this means is that Jenn ( our gestational carrier) will have two of our embryos put into her uterus and then go on bed rest for 24 hours. we should know if..... by the grace of God that she gets pregnant....we should know by February 2ndish... I cannot believe this is happening this week. I should have gone to church this morning.... instead I cleaned my house like a crazy woman....something I do when I am nervous....I SCRUBBED EVERYTHING! My house looks good enough for Christmas! Well wish us luck. We are beyond excited!

And Away we go……

We Transfer in one week! I am at my computer feverishly shopping and looking for things I can put in a gift basket for Jenn. I am planning to put a few goodies in her hotel room before she gets there. She checks in on the 25^th, we’ve invited her for dinner Monday night. The embryo transfer will take place on Tuesday the 26^th! Jenn will return to her hotel room after the transfer and she will be on bed rest until Wednesday afternoon. The she will return to CT and wait 10 days before the official blood test. She will more than likely POAS (pee on a stick) before then. I think we should know for sure by the 2^nd of February if this was a success. I can’t believe this is really going to happen a week from tomorrow! We hope our little embryos make it through the thaw. Jenn is also going through acupuncture treatments to help increase blood flow and oxygen in the body, which will help implantation.

I cannot stop thinking of the possibilities….

A singleton? Twins? Boys? A girl? A Boy? Anything? Something?

We are drenched in Hope.